The Art of Being Interesting
  • “Sometimes I just want to slap him across the face and say ‘Why can’t you be more interesting?’”

    Thus spoke the lovely young lady at my bar one quiet Sunday night. She was three Manhattans in and talking to me as if we were old friends, which we weren’t.

    Her remarks — I told her this point blank — reminded me of a basketball coach I once had who, in the heat of battle many years ago, when we were in the huddle after an urgent and final timeout, sixty seconds on the clock, the game down to the wire, coach’s face beet-red, spit flying, said to us seriously:

    “I told you guys not to let them make baskets!”

    Uh, okay.

    The real question, of course, is: how does one be interesting?

    Is it really so hard?

    No, not really.

    And yet surveys say two out of every three people are boring.

    Are you one of them?

    Of course you’re not.

    You’re far too interesting for that.

    In fact, you broke away from the pack a long time ago.

    You’re a different breed, a dog of a different color.

    You learned early on that to be interesting is, in the most fundamental sense, to command the attention of others.

    You discovered that others, by and large, want to be entertained — and so, in this sense, we all start with a captive audience.

    You now know that, in actuality, it takes a certain kind of work to be boring, whereas to be interesting it’s … what?

    It’s mostly a question of habit — and the true secret of habit is the insight that habit is discipline and that your habits are what you choose them to be.

    Bartenders — real bartenders, as opposed to that tattooed-and-bearded bunch hiding behind their fifty-dollar bar spoons — pay close attention to what holds the interest of their customers.

    Why so?

    Because, friend, the bar is a microcosm of life.

    The bar is metaphor.

    The bartender, who is neither God nor government but a little of both, she is the orchestrator.

    Which is why, for better or worse, every bar takes on the personality of its lead bartender.

    These techniques are far from exhaustive, but one thing I promise you: they work.


    Table of Contents

    Chapter 1. How to be wickedly charismatic quickly

    Chapter 2. How to penetrate people’s brains as though you’re telepathic

    Chapter 3. How to be spellbinding — without saying a single word

    Chapter 4. How to have people dying to hear what you’ll say next

    Chapter 5. How to answer the age-old question: what do you do?

    Chapter 6. How to become a freakishly brilliant small-talker by doing one simple thing

    Chapter 7. How to come across as diabolically clever

    Chapter 8. The REAL secret to making people fawn over you

    Chapter 9. Seven infallible ways to fascinate, beguile, mesmerize, and hypnotize

    Chapter 10. How to be the smartest, most interesting person in the bar

    PDF, ePub, Kindle

About The Author

I was born and raised in the San Juan Mountains of southwestern Colorado. I’ve worked as a short-order cook, construction laborer, crab fisherman, janitor, bartender, pedi-cab driver, copyeditor, and more. I’ve written and ghostwritten several published books and articles, but no matter where I’ve gone or what I’ve done to earn my living, there’s always been literature and learning as the constant in my life.

7 Responses and Counting...

  • Tiffany N. York 12.14.2016

    I have so much experience dating boring men, it’s almost embarrassing to admit. NY stockbrokers? Ugh, the worst. Me? I can make a grocery list sound interesting. I mean, you have to, or else you end up wanting to stick a fork in your eye over dinner with them. Maybe it’s because I’m somewhat crazy that I always gravitated more towards stable, even-tempered men. You would think I’d stick with other artists. But they were too crazy for me. haha Now that I’m older, I just. can’t. Mind-numbing conversation? Lack of passion? (And no, passion for booze and sex does not count.) Men whose lives are defined by their jobs are really freaking boring. Women whose lives are defined by their husbands and children are really freaking boring. Sometimes it does take a lot of energy to be interesting, esp. if you’re at a party where you only know one person (my biggest nightmare). There’s a definite art to it. But hey, I can stand to be more interesting, considering I live in the suburbs (you cannot get any more boring than that!)

  • I wouldn’t write off booze and sex so quickly. Sure getting crunk on a Friday night to drown the dull hum in your brain and having a glorified masturbatory session inside of another person aren’t very interesting. Travelling to France, Spain, Italy through the sip of wine, or experience the salt laiden earth, the history, the culture, through the sip of Isley Scotch is titilating and tantalizing at the same time. To experience the rhythm, dance, and music of two bodies passionately intertwined in glorious awkward cacophony rising in crescendo to a beautiful harmonious release is the foundation and inspiration of the majority of arts themselves.

  • “(And no, passion for booze and sex does not count.)”


    Spoken, if I may say, like a true suburbanite.

  • Suburbanite?! Bite your tongue. I’d rather be described as “iniquitous” over “suburbanite” any day.

  • Ha-ha!

    You iniquitous sweet suburbanite.

    Run with the dogs tonight.

  • Caleb–Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m not knocking sex and booze. Sex and booze defined my teens and twenties. I was a wild child of the 80s. Need I say more? But I’ve been there, done that. I’ve also traveled to France, Spain, and Italy and that was infinitely more interesting. You wanna know what my life consists of now? Twenty-something boys propositioning me. I’m almost 50, cougar stage. This very morning my teenage son’s friend’s older brother (he’s like 24?) knocked on my door to tell me I was the most beautiful neighbor he had ever met and he’s had a crush on me since the first time he saw me. Then he waited, no doubt for me to take him up on what he was offering. You must get the visual picture of me to fully appreciate the scenario: I’m in the process of editing my book, it’s 8:30 am, I’m in sweats and a fleece sweatshirt, slippers, wearing glasses, and I haven’t even brushed my teeth or hair. Needless to say, it was one of the most awkward moments of my life. Could I have taken him to bed to make my life more interesting? Of course, but alas, I’ve been there, done that as well. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but initiating a young boy ain’t it. And to think I thought the suburbs were boring when I can have my pick of married men and young boys. Oh, joy.

    Ray–I’m downloading your book if I can figure out how.

  • Thank you, Tiffany!

    Thank you very, very, very much.

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