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I’ve got a basketball jones.
I always have — or, at any rate, for as long as I can remember.
What’s a basketball jones?
Ever since I was a little baby, I always be dribbling. In fact, I was the baddest dribbler in the whole neighborhood….
I used to practice hours every single day, for years. Those years of practice molded me in more ways than I could ever quantify: physically, psychologically, philosophically.
People who know me now find my basketball jones hard to believe or reconcile with the cocktologist in me, I am not sure why.
The following is for all the disbelievers — and I say that because it comes up with a certain regularity:
One afternoon not too terribly long ago, I asked my videographer friend Johnny Morehouse if he wanted to make an extra fifty bucks. He said yes. This is a fraction of what came out of that ninety-minute session. The video quality isn’t great, but it’s totally real, totally unscripted, totally un-doctored.
I was trying for a full thirty-minute take without a single mistake, but it didn’t quite happen.
About The Author
Ray Harvey
I was born and raised in the San Juan Mountains of southwestern Colorado. I've worked as a short-order cook, construction laborer, crab fisherman, janitor, bartender, pedi-cab driver, copyeditor, and more. I've written and ghostwritten several published books and articles, but no matter where I've gone or what I've done to earn my living, there's always been literature and learning at the core of my life.
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Jesus, hippy!
And what’s that at the
42 min mark of the second vid!?!? Fast fuckin hands whatever it isI know. It is rather vulgar and disgraceful. Sorry about that.
You mean the one I fucked up? It’s called “Spider Legs.”
It’s actually not as hard as the low-dribble figure-eights and lemniscates, which are a great treat to the cardiovascular system, that is for sure.
Thank you for dropping by!
Still got it!
Well, I wonder, Sam. But would you stand by me at the free-throw line of life?
Holy shit! That is fucking unbelievable! I’ve never seen anyone perform this mighty act! I see where you get your bartending flinging skills. You can see at the end of part 2 the amount of core strength required for this . And the song tells it all.
Holy smoke! Thank you!
Holy something, indeed. Smoke it is, Sir Ray. <insert clip of jim carey's char sayin' smokin')
Listen to C&C, but watch this with the sound off while you do it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moeY_ZGWD5o
And for those who like to dive deeper …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mt6CbYYTr2U
and deeper …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGFmwXBS0og
still here?
payoff:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwIL19VRRPY
oh, the jones doesn't stop
For dessert Chris Rock and Barry White:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITbXUAfY20I
The Chris Rock and Barry White version is absolutely ridickelus.
Thank you for dropping by!
All you’re proving is that you’re a good ball handler and most of us in the industry knew that already, pal.
All you’re proving is that you’re a good handler of orbs and most of us in the industry knew that already, pal.
What do you mean I already said that. Are you censoring any comments about handling.