Bleach-Haired Honkey Bitch
  • I am, as many of you know, a writer by day and a bartender by night — and yet, as many of you may not know, I’m not merely a bartender by night: I’m also a very passionate man.

    As such, the creative spirit I strive to pour into my literature occasionally spills over into my work as a cocktologist, so that every once in a while, when I’m lucky, one of those cocktails will, if I may say so, transcend the quotidian and fall squarely within the precincts of the eternal. The Bleach-Haired Honkey Bitch (2 parts Tito’s vodka, 3 parts Tang) is, I believe, just such a cocktail — and evidently I’m not the only one who feels this way.

    The following photo was recently emailed to me:

    resize_bleach haired hb
    In case you can’t quite make it out, that’s a T-shirt I had made which says:

    ACE GILLETT’S: CHANGING LIVES, ONE BLEACH-HAIRED HONKEY BITCH AT A TIME

    To whoever you are out there, staring philosophically across the eternal surf and the beautiful San Francisco Bay, thank you. You’ve touched my heart.

    Thank you for wearing my Bleach-Haired Honkey Bitch shirt, and thank you even more for enjoying the Bleach-Haired Honkey Bitch cocktail. You are very clearly a woman of a rare and sophisticated palate.






About The Author

The sawed-off shotgun of literary pulp.

7 Responses and Counting...

  • Martin 11.14.2013

    Ha, right in my backyard! The boozy tentacles of Ray are far reaching, and the we’re all better for it.

  • “The boozy tentacles of Ray” — Martin, my friend, may I use that? I think it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard.

  • The only Tito I know of was a “benevolent” dicatator of Yugoslavia. He was born in Croatia and died in Slovenia. Hmmm Jugoslavian, Croatian, and Slovenian? Sounds perfect to me. By the way you should pay the girl for advertising.

  • I know that Tito. He was a dyed-in-the-skein communist. He did not approve of paying girls for advertising.

    But I do!

  • Why did I not know of this shirt? It basically has my name on it. Remind me to buy one the next time I am let out of the house.

  • Johi, my dear, why did you not know of it? I’d love to find out.

    Meanwhile, happy Thanksgiving. And thank you for dropping by.

  • dang, (rhymes w/ tang) I left town w/ out grabbing my shirt. 🙁 & u know I would’ve taken it to far-reaching & offbeat places. I guess u’ll just have to put it in a carry-on bag & come visit me 🙂

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