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My name is Kevin. I’m Kevin Mathew Haas.
My last name does not rhyme with moss.
It does not rhyme with floss.
To say so makes me cross.
Many regard me as the motherfucking boss
and I do enjoy a little of the sauce.
In fact, my last name — Haas —
rhymes with gauze.
(This should give you pause.)
It also rhymes with laws.
I, Kevin Mathew Haas,
liked The Wizard of Oz
but did not particularly care for Jaws,
which I saw when I was seven.
My name is Kevin.
[Editors note: the preceding was a poem I wrote about my co-worker Kevin — the Bob Ross of bartending, the Meatloaf of mixology, the sultan of sauce-slinging, the Kenny Chesney of the craft cocktail.]
About The Author
Ray Harvey
I was born and raised in the San Juan Mountains of southwestern Colorado. I've worked as a short-order cook, construction laborer, crab fisherman, janitor, bartender, pedi-cab driver, copyeditor, and more. I've written and ghostwritten several published books and articles, but no matter where I've gone or what I've done to earn my living, there's always been literature and learning at the core of my life.
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The Kenny Chesney of craft cocktail? Let’s play some quarters.
Yes, yes: the Kenny Chesney of the craft cocktail. It may sound odd — until you get to know Kevin. And then it all makes sense.
Thank you for dropping by.
And he makes an awesome cucumber cocktail even after you’ve pissed him off by asking for your other favorite bartender to make you a drink…;) Your pic is on the way!
Hi Joanne. It’s good to see you here. Thank you for the pic, and thank you for dropping by.
Hope he likes Green Eggs and Ham
He does not like green eggs and ham.
He likes big hot dogs, and Jean Claude van Damme.
Is it Jean Claude van Damme, you say?
How could he care for that Frenchie O-Fay?